Best Friends Aren't Forever, and That's Okay.

In kindergarten I met my first best friend. His name was Eric, and we bonded over backyard wiffle ball, dinosaurs, and sand pizzas. Later on in grade school, I met a best friend I still have to this day, and even made me godmother of one of her children.

What makes a best friend friendship? I think we all see it differently, and have different kinds of besties. One of my best friends I only see a handful of times a year, we can even go weeks without a text message, let alone a phone call. But when I do see him, it's like time hasn't passed us by, not even a moment. He's a BFF that I know is a lifer. I've had the BF that I was in constant communication with. We texted, talked on the phone daily, and really coexisted at times as one. As I've grown older and figured myself out, that type of friendship has faded. I've been accused of distancing myself, which I can't deny, but I also feel like I can stand on my own now, and prefer to just be me, not Lindsey and __________________.

Over the years we've all gone through the ups and downs of friendships, of best friendships. The times of our lives, like rolling in cow pies to get under an electric fence to explore Cemetery X or awkwardly coercing the caretaker of one of the most haunted houses in Kansas to let us snoop. Then there's the downs. Blah. Finding out a best friend has ill intentions or is just playing the using game, or not really having your back is such a blow.

Then there's the best friends that become toxic. How does this happen? One day everything clicks, and the next you can literally feel the resentment rising off the text message. We are constantly growing as individuals and together as friends, yet we can also head down completely different roads. I can't say I regret these, as I've learned a lot from them, but I wish the ill will that's felt would disappear.

So, in 9 days I'll be 30 years old. Thirty years holds a long line of best friends. This has molded me into my badass self, bullshit and all. I've had what I thought were BFFs, only to discover they were really BFUSCCA (best friends until someone cooler comes along). But I do have those BFFs that stick around, well, forever.

This isn't a high horse I'm riding around on. I'm not looking for validation for my life or how awesome I am. I'm not looking for judgement, though I'm sure there's people out there that have me on the stand as I type.

This is about my journey of best friends.